Ritsu's Letter
by Jolee Finch
Summary: It has been a busy night for Ritsu's mother. Weary and overworked, she finds a letter from her shy, frantic son along with a bag of assorted jelly buns... What does he mean to tell her...? First 'real fanfic' YAY! Corrected .


**I've been insanely reminded of a really important bit... the disclaimer (because I intend to write more fanfics). So here it goes: I do not own anything related to Fruits Basket. It all belongs to Natsuki Takaya. **

Ritsu's Letter

_Crickets are chirping and basking happily against a dusking sun. It is a noisy evening at the hot springs and Ritsu's mother runs frantically shooing the bugs as a wave of dread washes over her: at this rate, she will have to apologise to all her guests for not getting rid of those pestilential creatures. She imagines legions of them picking on unknown, innocent visitors. It has not happened yet, but she is certain it will. In her mind's eye, she wails a never ending chant of "I'm sorry" and "I apologise to you all and the rest of the world", kneeling and sweating profusely as her shrilly voice drowns amid a loud chorus of angry crickets. _

_Letting out a shaky sigh, she gives up and thinks about the whole thing as an impossible task. She goes to the kitchen, prepares some green tea and pours herself a cup. She rearranges her dark hair and her gaze sweeps the entire kitchen. Beside the rice cooker, she finds a bag of assorted jelly buns and an envelope on top. This envelope is pink, with the word "mother" written on it in small, almost ant-like letters. Ritsu's mother smiles wanly, bringing the envelope up against her chest, thinking how thoughtful her son is. She sits at the counter eyeing the envelope one more time as she mutters, "Awwww, Ritsu's brought me jelly buns… but he's probably using them to hide something he's done, yet again. Or maybe the Sohmas want ME to apologise for something he's done, yet again. Could it be that Ritsu jumped off the roof again and Master Hatori took him to the hospital…? This may be my son's last letter! _

_OH DEAR WORLD! FORGIVE ME FOR BEING SUCH A LOUSY MOTHER, AN IRRESPONSIBLE PARENT WHO BURDENS OTHERS WITH HER CHILD. AN OVERALL SHAMEFUL ADULT WHO DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO GUIDE HER SON…"_

_Panting heavily, she sips her tea, listening to the crickets and unwillingly crumpling half the envelope. The chirping grows louder and her lower lip quivers, "THE CRICKETS! FORGIVE ME! MY LOUD VOICE MUST BE MAKING THEM UNCOMFORTABLE! AAAAHHHH!"_

_She takes a deep breath and opens the envelope. It reads…_

Dear Mother,

I originally wanted to talk to you in person, but of course, I am too shy. I don't even have the necessary courage to go out wearing anything other than a kimono and with a bow on my hair. I sometimes wonder how you and Father were able to put up with me… do you remember that time when you took me to sensei's dojo when I was a little boy? It was dreadful, wasn't it? All I did was cry in front of sensei, unable to move. I stood there, like a dummy, like a pointless pile of flesh. But, do you know, Mother, what happened before you came to pick me up? Sensei knelt in front of me and patted my shoulders gently. He looked into my blurry, watery eyes and told me everything was going to be alright. Up to this day, I still remember his gaze full of kindness and understanding. I felt happy. After that, I did fairly well at martial arts, wasn't any better than the others, not a chance, but there was something in sensei's eyes that told me otherwise: that I could fulfill my potential. _No_, I told myself. Everyone else had potential, not me. Not in a million years.

Yet, I studied as hard as I could so both of you would be proud of me. School was not easy Mother, I can guarantee you that. I was regarded as a quiet boy who was content with only achieving the average. I was always "average"; a simple word which couldn't describe me better as a living being. Plain. Somebody who comes along without anyone taking notice and who can disappear as easily from this world in a whisper. I was already dressing like a girl at that time, it must have been such a shame for you and Father.

Being the coward that I am, I went on carrying this shield, enclosing myself in this bubble that was my fake femininity. While at university, I requested to stay in an all-girls dormitory after you had a sudden influx of guests and I thought it would be better to vacate my bedroom if anyone needed it, especially Akito. You already know I feel less pressure wearing women's clothing, but I had a more important reason for staying away from home, a girl named Kinagame Matsuragi. Kii-chan was this lively girl with the most beautiful brown eyes and hair I had ever seen. We would usually have lunch together and study during later afternoons. From day one, she thought I was a girl and treated me as such. I stuttered at her mere presence, but Kii-chan would help me through coursework with such gentleness that I only fell harder for her. For weeks, I only thought of how I could tell her I was really a man but I felt even more horrified at the thought of her finding about the Curse. To my utter disgrace, I decided to elaborate a plan only fools like myself would put into action. One day, I woke up early and left a note for Kinagame to meet me at a small coffee shop a few blocks down from campus. For the first time in years, I put on men's clothing, just a long-sleeved white shirt, with black pants and shoes. I opened the exit door reluctantly, and walked as quickly as I could until I reached the coffee shop. As I entered the place, I felt not a few, but several burning stares from a large group of high school girls. They positively thought I was handsome, but I felt my face growing red, I muffled a yelp and scurried off to the farthest table. Once there, with my arms around my knees, I felt this incredible urge to go apologise to them for my rudeness, for my inability to correspond to their attention. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, when I opened them I saw this wonderful vision…

Kinagame came in, beautiful as ever, radiant. Her lovely hair framed her face in a way only angels would know. Then her beautiful eyes seemed lost. She was looking for me, but then I realised she wouldn't recognise me in men's clothing. Kii sat at a small table, probably thinking I might show up late. Flustered, I stood up and walked shyly towards her, my awkward steps resounding in my mind as everything around me dissolved into nothingness. All that was left was Kii. In a small voice, I said 'Good Morning' to her and asked if I could sit with her. Kii smiled sweetly at me and told me she didn't mind at all although she was expecting a friend of hers. She eyed me thoughtfully, and told me I 'looked a lot like her friend _Ritchan-san_ and wondered if _she_, perchance, had any brothers'. I blushed a deep red and sat down, also wanting to run away as well. Kinagame was delighted, pointing out how I had exactly the same mannerisms as her _friend_. Feeling desperate, I took her hand in a swift motion and her eyes widened in surprise.

"_I-I am, Ritchan-san… Kii-chan. I apologise for not telling you I am a guy. I am sorry for being a cowardly liar. If you would let me explain and I swear I'll make it up to you…"_

Kii looked at me nervously and muttered she didn't know her 'friend' had such a dark humour as to send her brother or somebody who looked a lot like her and have him telling her such things in a public place. I saw it in her eyes. It was disbelief. Kii stood up to leave, but I was quicker and took her by the arm. I told her I was telling the truth, that I was indeed Ritsu Sohma and that I loved her. Kii was speechless and her eyes bore into mine. I kissed her. Kii backed away slightly, with a knowing look, she was scared and annoyed. Before I knew it, small tears rolled down my face as I drew closer and kissed her again, more intently this time. I forgot myself, and embraced her…

All I remember is Kinagame's blank expression, her face washed off from every emotion, except the horror of seeing my Zodiac form as I screeched and ran like there was no tomorrow, leaving my clothes and my dignity at the coffee shop. I stopped and looked around me, I had ran a considerable distance and prayed I wouldn't change back right in the middle of the sidewalk, only adding more to my misery. Once I was back and safe at the dorm, after creeping through the window, I changed and put on my kimono right away. I packed my belongings and left, all the while crying because I messed up. I paid no heed to others who saw me at the lobby, darting through the door. Crying because I knew I'd never be able to face Kinagame ever again. Crying because I was only good at bringing misfortune to others. That was why I showed up a bit earlier at home than you had expected. Always coming back after screwing up, though I thank you for worrying about me, I guess you worry too much sometimes.

After gathering enough courage to visit Shigure-nii, I met Tohru Honda on my way to his house. Things felt a little… different. She looked a bit like Kii, although there was something in her kind eyes which reminded me of sensei. As expected, she thought I was a girl, and I was so ashamed of my recurring clumsiness whenever she was around. Mother, she treated me so selflessly, I can only wish all imaginable happiness for her. That day we ate jelly buns together remains as one of my most precious memories. I have to say I was afraid of being alone with her, of messing up like I do with everyone, like I did with Kii… but it wasn't like that. I opened my heart to Tohru. I felt free and accepted. She made me see who I really want to be. I was a boy with no talent, no skills, completely worthless. Now, I am still a talentless, unskilled, worthless man. I am the bane of my own existence. I have managed to accept that reality… so I can change it. So I can be a man Tohru, the rest of the Zodiac and especially you, dear Mother, can be proud of. I also want Mii-chan… I mean, Mitsuru-chan to be proud of me, she's wonderful. I know I still have to introduce her to you, but Shigure-nii is giving her such a hard time, she's his editor. I can only hope you approve of her and I know you will. Mii-chan picked those jelly buns especially for you. If you get to see Tohru again, can you please tell her I am deeply grateful and that I hope we can be good friends for a long time? I'll be looking forward to another talk and I'll make sure to bring more jelly buns!

Again, sorry for resorting to letters so I can explain everything that's been going on lately, I can't help being so insecure, but I will try to have a little more faith from now on, okay?

Your Ritsu.

_Ritsu's mother wipes her eyes and smiles, she then finishes her tea and clutches her son's letter close to her heart. Moments later, she phones Shigure's house. It is very late._

"_Shigure speaking."_

"_Master Shigure, is my boy Ritsu around?"_

"_Oh, he's asleep now, I can wake him up if you want—"_

"_Oh no, it's alright. You don't need to go at such lengths. I am so sorry for disturbing you at such a late hour, but I have a favour to ask…"_

"_Sure, what is it?"_

"_I have a serious cricket infestation and I was wondering if you and the others could give me a hand with the furniture and other things before the exterminators arrive. If it's not much of a problem, of course. I am indeed making you uncomfortable…"_

_(No answer)_

"_Master Shigure?"_

_(No answer)_

"_Master… Shi-shi-gure…?"_

"_Hmmmm, tell me, do we all look like housemaids to you?"_

"_Obviously not…"_

"_Exactly, you see, if you have to call during the wee hours so we can help you, it will not be for free…"_

"_YOU'RE RIGHT MASTER SHIGURE! I AM SO SORRY! I APOLOGISE FOR MY INSOLENCE! HOW COULD I EVEN THINK OF MAKING A PHONE CALL? I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR BEING ALLOWED TO SPEAK. I APOLOGISE TO THE WORLD FOR HAVING VOCAL CORDS!"_

"_Sheesh, no need to overexert yourself like that. Take a Valium and we'll see you tomorrow morning. We'll even bring Rii-chan along. I'll drive."_

"_Thank you, Ma-master… Shigure…"_

"_No problem! Bye-bye!"_

_*Shigure hangs up and phones Hatori*_

"_Dr. Sohma speaking."_

"_Ha'ri! Guess what, we're all going to the hot springs again! Lovely Tohru will join us! So, I was hoping you'd drive us all tomorrow?"_

_(No answer)_

"_Now I've nailed it this time, right? You DO have a crush on Tohru!"_

"_No. I am just overwhelmed at the possibility of more people being contaminated by your stupidity."_


End file.
